DEAR ABBY: I met this guy at work. He was everything I’m looking for in a guy. During a lunch walk, he told me about his breakup with his ex and how he moved out and bought a house. He lives with his son and his nephews and their family.
The entire two months we dated were amazing. There may have been a couple of red flags my co-worker and friends noticed. He couldn’t message me often after work or on weekends, and he was always so busy with his kid we couldn’t go on a date. He told me his ex was not in the picture, which I thought was odd since his son is only 2.
I don’t know why I decided to do some internet research on him, but I found out he actually is married and bought the house with that “ex.” When I confronted him about this, he insisted he had told me about it when we first started talking, which is not true.
Now that the cat’s out of the bag, he says he’s getting back with her “for his son” but still wants me in the picture as his side piece. I fell in love with him, Abby, and he says he loves me, too. I don’t think it’s right to do this, but I don’t want to stop talking to him. Should I block him and move on or stick around since he still wants me? -- SIDE PIECE IN CALIFORNIA
Stories by Abigail Van Buren
- Dear Abby: My husband says he’s ‘not interested.’ Must I give up on the idea of intimacy for the rest of my life?
- Dear Abby: I’m livid my ex-mother-in-law gave my daughter her first haircut without asking
- Dear Abby: We don’t want our deadbeat dad to have his new wife move into the house we bought for him
DEAR SIDE PIECE: Close your eyes, dig deep and see if you can feel around and locate a shred of your self-esteem. Why would you be content to be a “side piece” in this philanderer’s life? He doesn’t love you. I doubt he loves anyone but himself. Do yourself a giant favor: Quit listening to his sales pitch, block him and find someone who can give you the love you crave.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.